The Cursed Pickle Jar

Ever get the feeling that life is conspiring to in some way frustrate you? Good example of this is the jar of pickles I bought from Aldi today. For some reason I have the only jar of pickles in the known universe with a lid so tight it's impossible to remove. I've tipped the jar upside down and banged it to get the vacumn to loosen a little, I've run the lid under hot water to loosen it. I've tried a lid grip mat to get the lid off. But no, the lid will not come off this jar of pickles.

And in my efforts I've now ruined the label so I can no longer return the product. Yes, yes I know it's a freakin $3 jar of pickles. Throw it away and be done with it! Don't blog about it for christs-sake!

Well I am blogging about it because I'm sure I'm not the only one to be frustrated by a jar of pickles. And anyway we all know it's not about the $3.00 it's all about our lives, and basic freedoms and our entitlement to consume a jar of pickles we have paid $3.00 for. More fundamental than that, I'm hungry and these pickles look freakin delicious!

So anyway I called Aldi over my $3.00 jar of unopenable pickles and they were confounded over what to do. Confounded I tell you! Well it's bloody obvious to me what you do, you tell the customer it's no big deal (it is after all only a $3.00 jar of pickles) and give them permission to return it and receive another in it's place. But apparently that's not the german way. No, no, at Aldi we waste 10 minutes of the customers time asking them stupid questions like....

Have you tried getting someone else to open it for you?

Are you serious? Would I be wasting my pre-paid phone credit calling you over this jar of pickles if it were as simple as asking my neighbour to open it for me. Do you think I am mentally retarded and haven't thought of that solution myself? Evidentally so.

Anyway I was too astounded to continue the conversation and hung up. I've decided to keep the unopenable jar of pickles as a trophy for all the struggles in my life. Like so many other things I wanted and couldn't have the jar of pickles teases me with it's tantalising deliciousness and yet remains elusive.